Writing

Writing SCANNER Normal JOJO 2 26 2002-01-15T05:01:00Z 2002-01-15T05:01:00Z 6 2558 14585 SC 121 29 17911 9.2720 110

2. Writing Style

According to Fogiel, style is the art of creative writing that flows effortlessly and gives the reader the feeling that the writer knows the subject. 9 He is referring to the manner a writer presents his thoughts. While style is personal to a writer and is said to be a window of his personality, still there are basic rules that may help a writer in forming his own style.

2.1 Stages of Writing Process

The writing process incorporates five stages: prewriting, writing, rewriting, revising and polishing.

The pre-writing stage consists of the organization in outline form of the ideas that have to be translated from the writer's mind into written form.

Next, is the preparation of the writer-oriented first draft. The writer should keep on writing without stopping to correct anything.

Rewriting towards a reader-oriented final draft follows the writing stage.

Revision comes after the rewriting of the draft. It concentrates on sentence structure, grammar and punctuation.

The last stage of the writing process is polishing, which includes checking for grammatical and typographical errors. Failure to polish the legal writing can erode the meaning and import of the writing.

2.2 Pointers on Style

2.2.1 Use Economy of Words

The simplest way of saving words is to throw out all the words you don't need – this is the 'weeding out method.' Just discard all the words that do not add any meaning to what you are writing.

If you write something about a 'tiny little room,' strike out the word 'little' and leave the words 'tiny room.' A tiny room is always little.

Economy in the use of words may be achieved through the following methods:

(a) Change adjectives into nouns. Instead of writing 'What impressed me most was the fact that he was very frank.' (12 words), write 'What impressed me most was his complete frankness' (8 words)

(b) Change adjectives into adverbs. Instead of 'The crowd cheered in a way that was wild.' (9 words), write 'The crowd cheered wildly.' (4 words)

(c) Change verbs into nouns and use gerunds. A verb-noun ending in '-ing' is called a gerund. Instead of 'Often the beauty of a dress lies in the way it is worn.' (12 words), write 'Often the beauty of a dress lies in the wearing.' (10 words)

(d) Change verbs into adjectives. Use the suffixes '-able,' '-ed.' And '-ing' to change verbs into adjectives. Instead of writing 'That was a play you could really enjoy seeing.' (8 words), write 'That was really an enjoyable play.' (6 words)

(e) Use the infinitive phrase instead of a clause beginning with 'that' or 'so that.' Instead of writing 'Open the window so that you get some fresh air.' (10 words), write, 'Open the windows to get some fresh air.' (8 words)

(f) Remove words like 'who has' or 'which is' in relative clauses. Instead of writing 'Our neighbor, who was the mayor of the town, was always very friendly to us.' (15 words), write 'Our neighbor, the town mayor, was always very friendly to us.' (12 words)

(g) Use word-saving syllables. There are some syllables that can take the place of several words. Examples are 'y,' 'full' and 'less' that can turn clauses into adjectives.

Instead of 'Let's go over to the side of street that is in the shade.' (14 words), write 'Let's go over to the shady side of the street.' (10 words)

You left out the words 'side of the ' and 'that is in' and added the syllable 'y' to 'shade'.

Instead of 'We were greeted with a smile that was full of joy.' (11 words) write 'We were greeted with a joyful smile.' (7 words)

Instead of 'A little hall that has no windows makes a good darkroom.' (11 words), write 'A little windowless hall makes a good darkroom.' (8 words)

Other word-saving syllables are: '-ment' (as in astonishment); '-ion' (as in creation), '-ize' (as in modernize); and '-fy' (as in fortify)

There are combinations of these syllables, like '-izement' (as in aggrandizement) or '-fication (as in fortification)

(h) Use a single adjective to do the word of a phrase (a brave man for a man of bravery). There are cases, however, when the phrase is better that the single word as when it yields emphasis or rhythm. (A thing of beauty instead of beautiful thing)

(i) Delete redundant or unnecessary words. Avoid redundant words.

� old adage - adage means "old saying"

� advance planning - plan means "to foresee" or "to advice ahead"

� to discuss about - to discuss means to talk about

� end result - result in the end itself of previous acts or events

(j) Use short words, which are usually clearer, crisper, and more exact. If you have a choice between a short and a long word conveying the same meaning, use the former. But when a longer word is clearer and more exact, by all means, use it.

(k) Be consistent in using the same word for the same idea. Once you use a word in a writing, do not use its synonyms in the subsequent portions thereof, for the reader will be wondering if you are changing the sense of what you have said before.

2.2.2 Be Accurate in the Choice of Words.

Express clearly what you have in mind. Do not say: 'The evacuees are provided with portable water.' when what you mean is that the evacuees are provided with 'potable' water. In using synonyms, be sure they carry the same connotations as the words you want to replace.

(a) Do not use 'while,' in place of 'although.'

Although he does not have all the answers, he does know the questions. (With 'while,' the sentence can mean during the time he does not have the answers.)

(b) Do not use 'as' in place of 'because.'

He cannot finish the brief this week because he is going to Tokyo. (With 'as,' the sentence can mean that he cannot finish the brief during his trip).

(c) Do not use 'since' in place of 'because.'

Because he has talked with the lawyer, we have decided they are serious. (With 'Since' instead of 'Because,' the sentence can refer to time, i.e., 'Since the day he talked with the lawyer,…')

2.2.3 Repeat important words for emphasis.

Example: Give! Give money when you see that women and children are hungry. Give sympathy when you can cheer a beaten man. Give time to study conditions in your own community. Give your whole self in an attempt to change and better the life of all humanity.

(a) State the points to be emphasized in concrete and specific terms. The minds of the readers respond more readily to the specific, the tangible, and the concrete. Conversely, the use of abstract terms serve to de-emphasize a point. A hungry man is not interested in an academic discussion, like nutrition or nourishment; uppermost in his mind are sizzling steak, crispy pata, or hamburger.

(b) Place the more important part in a prominent position, which is either the beginning or the end of the sentence.

(c ) Transitive words shall not be placed at the beginning or end of a sentence, unless the sentence is very short.

(d) The main thought in the sentence should be put in the main clause in order to be emphasized.

2.2.4 Use parallelism, which is the repetition of like words in the same order. Parallelism means like construction for like ideas. Present equal ideas in similar sentence structure. If you use a prepositional phrase for one idea, use another prepositional phrase for the second idea. If you use a clause for the first idea, use also a clause for the second. Examples of parallelism are Julius Caesar's 'I came, I saw, I conquered.' (instead of 'After I arrived, I looked and then I conquered.') and Patrick Henry's 'Give me liberty or give me death.'

Absolute parallelism is not always required, as in 'He talked slowly and with a stammer.'

Parallelism may be formed with two or more words, phrases, dependent clauses, independent clauses or sentences.

(a) Use balance structures. Unlike using similar words as in parallelism, a balance structure uses words which are roughly of the same length and which sound rhythmical to the reader's ear. Rhythmic pattern within sentences increases readability. The Bible uses abundantly the device of balance structure.

(b) Another way of attaining a rhythmic flow or sequence of sound is the use of an alternation of stressed and unstressed syllables.

To determine the subject, predicate and object of a sentence, ask yourself the question: 'Who is doing what to whom?' Then focus on these three key elements: the actor ('who'), the action (doing what), and the object (to whom).

2.2.5 Avoid 'wordy' sentences. There are words which are not redundant, but which can be deleted from the sentence without changing the thought conveyed and on the other hand, making the sentence crisper and clearer.

Use a short sentence to emphasize a point. A short sentence is easier to read and makes a stronger statement. But, do not use such emphatic sentence in a row because this can cause an impression of an impatient, angry tone. And, do not use choppy sentence which read like telegrams.

2.2.6 Avoid archaic or obsolete words.

2.2.7 Avoid vulgar words.

2.2.8 Use connecting words to relate one sentence element to another (either-or, neither-nor, whether-or).

Separated: The police could not explain how the accident occurred. They could not find an eyewitness.

Combined: The police could not explain how the accident occurred nor could they find an eyewitness.

2.2.9 Whenever possible, use action words instead of linking words.

Linking word: The retirement plan was offered by the company.

Action word: The company offered the retirement plan.

2.2.10 Use subordinating words to combine ideas ( e.g., after, although, as, because, if, since, though, unless, when, where). These words are useful in showing that one idea in a sentence is less important than another idea in the same sentence.

2.2.11 Be consistent in using the same word for the same idea. Once you use a word in a writing, do not use its synonyms in the subsequent portions thereof, for the sake of variety because the reader will be wondering if you are changing the sense of what you have said before.

2.2.12 Avoid coupled synonyms. Coupled synonyms are like redundant words, only the former involve nouns with the same meaning joined together while the latter involve words modified by adjectives already implied therein. An example of coupled synonyms is 'null and void and of no further force and effect,' a phrase of pompous lawyers. Use either 'null and void' and delete 'of no further force and effect.'

2.2.13 Avoid multiple words or compound construction when a single word will do. One word is usually more effective than several words expressing the same thought.

� More specially - Nothing is more special than "specially."

� Protracted delay - "Protracted" means "delay". "Protracted hearing" and "protracted negotiations" are however correct.

� Actual facts - All facts are actual.

� Present incumbent - "Incumbent" means one who holds office at the present time.

� Unauthorized trespassing - All trespassing are unauthorized.

2.2.14 Avoid slang, colloquial and dialectical usages in formal writing. 'Ain't' meaning 'am not' has not been accepted in standard English, both written and spoken. It is unlike 'isn't (for is not), 'aren't (for are not), or 'weren't (for were not).

'About' when used in the sense of 'almost' is a colloquial.

2.2.15 Avoid illiteracies, like 'irregardless,' 'inappealable,' and 'dismissible,' which are not found in the dictionary.

2.2.16 Avoid making impossible comparisons like comparing Philippine laws with Japan, instead of the laws of the Philippines with the laws of Japan.

2.2.17 Modifying adjectives, adverbs, phrases and clauses should be placed close to what they are talking about and the relationship between these words and their antecedents should be clear and logical. Otherwise, you will have dangling modifiers.

� Wrong : Lying in the sun, the day was clear.

� Correct : Lying in the sun, I enjoyed the clear day.

Do not use a conjunction followed by a pronoun when linking a subordinate clause to a main clause. A conjunction can only be used when linking grammatical units of the same kind. A phrase cannot be joined to a clause.

2.2.18 Put your minor ideas in subordinate clauses or phrases and your main ideas in the main clauses or phrases.

2.2.19 Avoid mixing metaphors. Mixed metaphors result when the writer uses incongruous words in comparing objects.

� Wrong : The long arm of the law smelt the criminals in their hideouts.

� Correct : The long arm of the law caught the criminals in their hideout.

2.2.20 Start a sentence with a prepositional phrase, instead of an adverbial phrase. Instead of 'As soon as summer comes, we will go up the mountains every Sunday.' (13 words), write 'In the summer, we will go up the mountains every Sunday.' (11 words).

2.2.21 Avoid overworked clich�s and weak expressions in formal writing:

� After all is said and done

� All in all

� All the farther (meaning "as for as")

� All the faster (meaning "as fast as")

2.3 Effective Sentences

To write effective sentences involves such matters as unity, completeness, coordination, word order, and transition. A sentence has unity when it contains a single thought or a group of closely related words. A sentence to be complete must have both a subject and predicate.

Coordination is the placing of important thoughts in main clauses and minor ideas in subordinate clauses.

2.3.1 The usual word order of the elements of a sentence is: first, the subject; second, the predicate; and third, the object. Open the sentence with its subject. If the subject is placed at the end of the sentence, the reader will have to comprehend all the words that precedes it before it appears. For emphasis, the elements of the sentence may be inverted with the predicate at the beginning and the subject at the end. This is the periodic sentence, where the full meaning is not initially apparent and appears only at the end. The reader is kept in suspense.

Keep the subject and the predicate closely together. The sense of the sentence cannot be understood unless the subject and the predicate are used as a unit. In the subject-verb-object pattern, the doer of the action is in the subject position, the receiver of the action is in the object position, and the verb is in the middle position. Transition refers to the method by which writers bridge gaps between what has been covered and what is to come.

2.3.2 Pointers to be observed in writing effective sentences

(a) Avoid choppy sentences that read like telegrams.

(b) Avoid boring and bland sentences. A writer can easily detect these sentences once he reads them.

(c) Avoid run-on sentences that do not know where to stop.

(d) Avoid beginning or ending a sentence with weak and relatively unimportant words or ideas. This is where the attention of the reader is most keen. Reserve the beginning position for the more emphatic word. There are times when a transitional word like 'and' or 'but,' ordinarily weak words, have to be placed at the beginning of a sentence for emphasis.

(e) Avoid continuous use of only one kind of sentence structure. Intersperse long sentence among short sentences, compound sentences among single sentences, sentences with modifiers at the end among sentence with modifiers at the beginning or in the middle.

(f) Avoid shopworn quotations or proverbs.

(g) Avoid ambiguity in sentences.

Does the sentence 'Jose plays the piano as well as Juan.' mean that Jose's playing is as good as Juan's or simply that he too plays the piano?

Does the sentence 'The College President and the Dean of Women have decided to stop kissing in the campus.' mean that the two had been kissing in the campus before or that students had been the ones doing the kissing?

Does the traffic sign 'No parking on both sides' mean that cars can park on the street as long as they use only one side of the street or that they cannot park on any side of the street?

Express your thoughts in affirmative, not negative sentences.

(h) Avoid mixed or mangled metaphors ( e.g., 'The proof of the pie is in the pudding.' instead of 'The proof of the pudding is in the eating.'

(i) Sentences should vary in length. Using several short sentences in succession or in a row can create an impression of an impatient, angry tone. Using only short sentences makes the writing monotonous.

In this connection, use periodic sentences only for emphasis. A periodic sentence is so constructed that the emphatic word is placed at the end of the sentence and its full meaning is not initially apparent. The reader is kept in suspense.

(j) Put the point to be emphasized in a short sentence. Such sentence is easier to read and makes a stronger statement. But do not use several emphatic sentences in a row because this can cause an impression of an impatient, angry tone.

(k) Use the active voice. It does not only shorten but strengthens the sentence.

(l) Use balanced sentences. A balanced sentence is one in which related action, description or ideas are presented in the same form.

Incorrect : He liked biking and to jog.

Correct : He liked biking and jogging.

He liked to bike and to jog.

Incorrect : Betty is bright and has intelligence.

Correct : Betty is bright and intelligent.

Incorrect : Jose is not only a good pianist but a fine conductor.

Correct : Jose is not only a good pianist but also a fine conductor.

(m) Do not use compound sentences if simple sentences can explain your thoughts better. Of course, there are cases when using compound sentences will produce a fuller expression of the message you want to convey.

(n) Do not use long sentences. Neither should you use very short, telegraphic sentence, except for emphasis.

(o) End your sentences swiftly and effectively. Put significant words at the end of the sentences and avoid prepositions as much as possible in the final position.

9 Fogiel, M., Handbook of English Grammar, Style and Writing, 146-7 [1993].